Contributing Complaints

Complaining feels easy—until we realize we are also part of what we criticize.

We complain every day—about traffic, noise, delays, behavior, systems. Complaining has become almost automatic.

But there is a specific kind of complaint that often goes unnoticed: contributing complaints. These are complaints about problems we also help create.

• Complaining about traffic while parking on the street.
• Complaining about noise while playing videos on speaker in public.
• Complaining about pollution while littering or wasting resources.
• Complaining about bad drivers while ignoring basic road rules.
• Complaining about long lines while cutting when possible.
• Complaining about crowded places while choosing peak hours.
• Complaining about slow replies while leaving messages on seen.
• Complaining about fake news while sharing posts without reading.
• Complaining about screen addiction while endlessly scrolling.
• Complaining about shallow content while rewarding it with attention.
• Complaining about gossip while spreading it.
• Complaining about toxic work culture while pressuring others.
• Complaining about weak leadership while avoiding responsibility.
• Complaining about bad service while being rude to staff.
• Complaining about food while having no role in choosing or buying it.
• Complaining about being spoken to with bad words while using them yourself.
• Complaining about stress while refusing rest or boundaries.
• Complaining about an unanswered prayer after praying only once.
• Etceteras…

These complaints feel valid, because the problems are real. But contributing complaints blur responsibility. They criticize without change.

Most problems do not persist because no one complains. They persist because many people contribute—then complain. The uncomfortable truth is simple: we are often both the victim and the cause.

Complaining is easy. Self-awareness is harder. Real improvement does not begin with louder complaints. It begins when we stop contributing.

And maybe the most useful question to ask is not, “Who is causing this?” but:

Am I part of this?

⌨ ᴛʸᵖⁱⁿᵍ ᴏᵘᵗ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ʙˡᵘᵉ ᵈᵃʳᵉᵐ ᵐᵘˢⁱᶜ ᵇˡᵒᵍ

Digital Albums by Darem Placer on Bandcamp
daremplacer.bandcamp.com

Be Cool and Stay Cool

Loud reactions look brave. Cool control is real courage.

Not all courage looks the same.

Some courage is loud.
It shouts.
It argues.
It wants to win right now.

Other courage is quiet.
It stays calm.
It slows down.
It keeps control.

Most people notice the loud kind first. When someone raises their voice or steps forward ready to fight, it looks brave. It looks strong. But many times, that is not courage. That is just reaction.

Quiet courage works differently. It does not rush. It does not prove anything. It holds itself together. Because it is silent, people often mistake it for weakness.

You see this clearly on the road.

One driver shouts, curses, or gets out of the car. People call that brave.

Another driver stays inside, slows down, and lets it pass. People call that a coward.

But reacting is easy. Anyone can lose their temper. Anyone can shout or threaten. That does not take strength. That takes impulse.

Being cool takes effort. It takes awareness. It takes discipline.

Being calm does not mean you are scared. It means you understand the situation and decide it is not worth turning a bad moment into a worse one.

Being cool is not pretending. It is not silence out of fear. It is a choice.

Here are simple ways to be cool in tense moments.

• Pause for a second. Even a short pause breaks the reaction.

• Breathe slowly. Calm the body first, and the mind follows.

• Ask one question. “What happens if I react right now?”

• Choose safety over pride. Pride can wait. Your life cannot.

Not every situation needs a response. Not every insult needs an answer. Some moments are won by walking away.

Staying cool is just as important. Being calm once is easy. Staying calm again and again takes practice.

When people say “be cool,” it should not sound like an order. And when people say “stay cool,” it should not sound like pressure. Both are reminders that control is already possible.

Everyone has coolness inside them. Sometimes it gets buried under stress, anger, or pressure. But it is there.

Being cool is strength without noise.

Staying cool is strength with consistency.

So the next time things heat up, ask yourself—

are you choosing to be cool,
and staying cool after that? 😎

⌨ ᴛʸᵖⁱⁿᵍ ᴏᵘᵗ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ʙˡᵘᵉ ᵈᵃʳᵉᵐ ᵐᵘˢⁱᶜ ᵇˡᵒᵍ

Merely Christmas • Darem Placer
Out this season on Bandcamp.