Saint Paul of the Cross—Spiritual Darkness

He couldn’t feel God for 40 years—but never gave up. A story of faith that stayed strong even in silence.

It happened in the early 1700s, in northern Italy—a time of quiet towns, simple faith, and people searching for meaning after war and loss. In that setting lived Paul Danei, who would later be known as Saint Paul of the Cross.

Paul was only 19 when his life changed. He started to feel a deep love and sadness whenever he thought about the Passion of Christ—how Jesus suffered out of love. That feeling became his mission.

At first, he thought serving God meant becoming a soldier. He even joined a crusade for a short time but later realized that fighting with weapons wasn’t what God wanted from him. He left that life behind and decided to serve through prayer and preaching instead.

By the time he was 26, Paul began writing rules for a new group he wanted to form—a community focused on remembering and sharing the message of the Cross. This became the Passionist Congregation. But around this same time, something painful began: a long period of spiritual darkness.

For more than 40 years, Paul went through a kind of silence from God. He kept praying, fasting, and helping others, but inside, he felt nothing—no peace, no inspiration, no sign that God was listening. Still, he refused to give up. Every day, he continued his mission, believing that faith is real even when you can’t feel it.

He taught that love for God isn’t about emotions but about staying faithful even in silence. People who listened to him were moved, even though he himself didn’t feel anything spiritual at the time.

When Paul died at 81, he left behind a strong community of Passionists who carried on his mission. His long years of darkness didn’t destroy him—they made his faith unshakable.

🕯 What Is “Spiritual Darkness”?

This experience—called spiritual darkness or dryness—is something that only deep contemplatives like priests, monks, and mystics often describe. It’s not depression or lack of belief. It’s when the feeling of God’s presence disappears, even if the person still believes.

I just did some research to understand it better, and scholars say it’s common among people who spend most of their lives in deep prayer. Ordinary people usually feel God’s presence through kindness, beauty, or small everyday moments. But for mystics like Saint Paul of the Cross, their faith happens deep inside—so when that inner feeling goes quiet, it can be confusing and heavy for a long time.

Even if we don’t experience mystical silence like he did, we all go through moments when life feels empty or unanswered. During those times, we can remember that faith isn’t about constant emotion—it’s about continuing to love, to care, and to believe in goodness.

When we see kindness, when we show compassion, or when we choose peace instead of anger—that’s where God’s presence quietly lives.

Maybe some people feel God in visions. Some, in silence. But most of us—just in each other.

⌨ ᴛʸᵖⁱⁿᵍ ᴏᵘᵗ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ʙˡᵘᵉ ᵈᵃʳᵉᵐ ᵐᵘˢⁱᶜ ᵇˡᵒᵍ

Traces of courage, silence, and sacrifice—this is Saints.

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Saint Teresa of Ávila: How She Prayed

She prayed not with rules but with love—teaching that silence, honesty, and friendship lead to God.

Saint Teresa of Ávila (1515–1582), known in religion as Saint Teresa of Jesus, was a Carmelite nun and mystic who turned ordinary prayer into friendship with God. She entered the Carmelite convent in 1535 and spent nearly fifty years deepening the life of prayer she later taught to the world. For her, prayer was not about duty—it was about love. She believed that when you pray, you don’t just speak to God—you walk with Him.

The Five Principles of Her Prayer Life

💬 1. Prayer as Friendship

Prayer,” she said, “is an intimate sharing between friends.” For Sister Teresa, prayer wasn’t about sounding holy or saying perfect words. It was about being honest before Someone who already loves you. You can come to God tired, confused, or quiet—He listens to it all.

🌿 2. Mental Prayer — Talking with Jesus Beside You

This was her way. Sister Teresa didn’t worry about technique—she simply loved. She would imagine Jesus sitting beside her and spoke to Him as a friend. Sometimes she talked, sometimes she listened, and sometimes she simply sat in silence, aware that He was near.

🔥 3. Silence that Becomes Fire

Sister Teresa taught that true prayer begins with words, deepens in silence, and ends in love. At first, you speak. Then you listen. And finally, words fade away—not because God has left, but because His presence fills everything. That silence is not emptiness; it is fire.

🏰 4. The Soul as a Castle

She imagined the soul as a castle with seven rooms. The outer rooms are filled with noise and distraction. The inner rooms grow quieter, brighter, closer to peace. At the center is God Himself—where love and will are one. Every prayer is a journey through those rooms until your heart reaches His.

❤️ 5. Keep Praying Even When It’s Dry

There were days Sister Teresa felt nothing—no light, no comfort. But she stayed. “It’s not thinking much but loving much that pleases God,” she said. Even when prayer feels empty, stay. Because love is tested in the waiting, and faith grows in the silence.

Saint Teresa believed that the goal of prayer is not knowledge but transformation. The more you pray, the more you love. And the more you love, the more you become who God created you to be.

⌨ ᴛʸᵖⁱⁿᵍ ᴏᵘᵗ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ʙˡᵘᵉ ᵈᵃʳᵉᵐ ᵐᵘˢⁱᶜ ᵇˡᵒᵍ

Traces of courage, silence, and sacrifice—this is Saints.

Listen on Apple Music, Apple Music Classical, and YouTube Music